Shreddy's first internet post

[taxlady]

my nasme is shrederik.

hjow does this intrenetg thinhgee work? tyypinhg is harder than it looks when my human does it - my pawes are big for the keys. i heard her talk about an m cat who is hrer, but i casnt smell any kittis here.

if m cat seesd thisd, will she pl;ease rite?

today i slept, i ate crunhy food [yhum], i slept,. i chased sucha - she is a very stuck p cat who lives here too, i ran u;p and down the stairs, i tried to jump on he booksdhelf witjh thee tv, but ythe big apes said no. i took sun nap under the lamp, livcked my fur, ran 3 laps arund the liivikng room - kitchen. i need a nap.

Comments

[azrhey.livejournal.com]

now , can you learn not to stare at me while I sleep ?

[taxlady.livejournal.com]

i onkly stare ewhile you aqre falling asl;eep or wakjing up.

[m-cat.livejournal.com]

Stairs are cool! I used to live where I could run up and down stairs all day, but it's gone now. Instead, I get a balcony where I can sit in the sun and roll in dust and watch people and doggies and birds!

I'm going to try to put together a cat's guide to using the internet in the next few days.

There are a couple of things I don't understand, though. First, what do you mean when you say crunchy food? Do you mean something like lobster, or do you mean dry cat food? If the latte, do you mean that you actually like that stuff? If so, are you a vegan or something crazy like that, or do you just have low standards? I'm not too fond of food that comes out of a bag, unless it's a bag full of kitty treats or a big bag of unagi (not that I've ever seen one of those).

Second, why do you try to jump on things? I pretty much stay on the floor, although I have been known to get up on the bed from time to time. Do you find neat stuff or smells up there?

hi m,iss kitty

[taxlady.livejournal.com]

the big apes onmly gave me dry food when i wass tubby. i goty used to it. i like iyt now. the only otherd gfood i like isd tuna and the jkuice from canned beans asnd catnip.

i jump u;p high because its gfun to kjnock things dopwn. thinmgs fall bettyer from highh. i watch thing crassh anf roll.

i watch peopl and bireds and cats and sqwirrel;s too. in summerr the bigf apes leeve the patio edoor open.

you type good. i habve to pravctice. do you have anyu tips gfor cats too typre better?

[hill-slug.livejournal.com]

Welcome Shred! I'm curious - with a name like Shred, are you a terror on curtains & furniture?

Your typing will get better with practice. I used to have a human tom friend whose typing was a lot like yours, but he got better with time. Don't give up. If other cats or people don't understand what you've typed, it's because they're stupid.

Don't worry too much about the big bald things that live with you. They make those squaking noises at you because they're jealous of your graceful and handsome nature. Just ignore them.

hi chomolungnma,

[taxlady.livejournal.com]

i like poaper, i lke tio sink my vclaws into troilet paprer roll;s and paper ytowel rolls and shred them untril they atre dead.

you type hgood too. i ewill practice.

Re: hi chomolungnma,

[hill-slug.livejournal.com]

Clearly one of the bald things you live with typed Chomolungma, ya?

Re: hi chomolungnma,

[taxlady.livejournal.com]

no. i was vcery careful. i used the kee with the asrrow too

[ellenk.livejournal.com]

hi shred i am gracee i am just a kitten so my paws ar littel enuf to fit on the kees i like too jump on things toooo and i ken clime the cote tree but i need the apes to get me down and i luv too jump on hands an bite fingers and the apes give me crunchee fude and wet food but i like what they eet better espeshully ribs

hi gravcee

[taxlady.livejournal.com]

i wisjh my aspes had a cioat tree. my apes p[ut out vcannned food gfor sucjha, bvut it is yuxcky. theyu eat eweird stugf, l;ike brread and vcegtablres.

ytaxlady wasn't ebven mad at mne for p[osting. sdhe change the title of trhe post.

trhe big apes casll me shrederik or shreddy or the shredster.