Dog House Rules
Jan. 28th, 2004 03:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
taxladyA friend sent me this and it made me laugh:
Dog House Rules:
(the same applies for cats, except they will ignore you until you're asleep. And dogs have owners. Cats have staff.)
1. The dog lives here. You don't.
2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. Yes, he has some disgusting habits. So do I. So do you. What's your point?
4. OF COURSE he smells like a dog.
5. It's his nature to sniff your crotch. Please feel free to sniff his.
6. I like him a lot better than I like most people.
7. To you, he's a dog. To me, he's an adopted son who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. I have no problem with any of these things.
8. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about whether they have the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can put their pups up for adoption without upsetting the mother.
Dog House Rules:
(the same applies for cats, except they will ignore you until you're asleep. And dogs have owners. Cats have staff.)
1. The dog lives here. You don't.
2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. Yes, he has some disgusting habits. So do I. So do you. What's your point?
4. OF COURSE he smells like a dog.
5. It's his nature to sniff your crotch. Please feel free to sniff his.
6. I like him a lot better than I like most people.
7. To you, he's a dog. To me, he's an adopted son who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. I have no problem with any of these things.
8. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about whether they have the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can put their pups up for adoption without upsetting the mother.
