Yellow Pages response

Caller, "My mother hasn't done her 2007 income tax."
Me, "That's what I do. It starts at $50 + GST & QST. It depends on the amount of work."
Caller, "It's just personal; not self-employed."
Me, "It depends on the amount of work. People can have different amounts of T slips, RRSP receipts, interest income, medical receipts, etc."
Caller, "It's not business or 'travailleur autonome' (French for self-employed). What should we bring? The relevé 1?
Me, "Yes, and any other relevés. Does your mother have any dependants?"
Caller, "What are dependants?"
Me, "Children who are under 18 or students..."
Caller, "I'm a student, but I'm over 18."
Me, "Who makes more money? You or your mother?"
Caller, "My mother. She is a hairdresser, a travailleuse autonome."
Me, "Well, then you have to bring paperwork for the income and expenses as a hairdresser and it will cost more than $50."
Caller, "You don't have to put that."
Me, "I have to put all the income."
pause
Caller, "She doesn't make any money as a hairdresser. She has a T4 from Tim Hortons."
Me, "You will have to find someone else to do your mother's taxes. Good bye."

I'm so glad I gab with people before making the appointment. This would have been a pain in the patooty. They would probably have argued about the price too.